Fatigue

“After you find out all the things that can go wrong, your life becomes less about living and more about waiting.”
Chuck Palahniuk

The international term is long. Three semesters, not four.

13 week stints. It wears you down.

Teachers walk a tightrope of health. Surrounded by disease infected, snotty nosed, virus collecting children that have no concept of hygiene.

Eventually, the immune system succumbs.

For me, I can usually hold out for the 8-9 weeks, but these longer terms take their toll.

Thursday and I am not feeling the best despite the early Ramadan finishes this week, I am rundown and tired.

“One of the problems with religion is that it creates in-group loyalty and out-group hostility, even when members of one’s own group are behaving like psychopaths.”
Sam Harris

We detour on the way home to ge the ingredients for risotto fungo and tiramisu. We are having dinner with a friend tomorrow night. Italian theme.

We get home and open a wine but I am not that interested.

Bed early.

Friday morning and although I have a cough, I don’t feel too bad. Maybe I can shake this cold quickly.

I hit the gym and knock out a decent session.

We head to our local fromagerie to get some Italian cheeses for tonight. Gorgonzola Piccante, Moliterno al Tartufo and an aged Permesan.

Sadly, no Taleggio.

“You have to be a romantic to invest yourself, your money, and your time in cheese.”
Anthony Bourdain

The day wears on and the cold kicks in with enthusiasm. The cough gets worse and I start to ache.

Could be COVID, could be AIDS. If you don’t test…

I read Suttree which arrived midweek and prepare the ingredients for the risotto.

I do all the manual work for the tiramisu and Shell assembles the desert. I am under no illusions she will be taking full credit for its success, and I will be responsible if it is a failure.

The Pies get hammered and my cold instantly worsens.

“It’s so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.”
John Steinbeck

We head to dinner. The cheeses are delicious, the risotto on point. Our host has made pasta from scratch and serves it with prawns and chili, delicious.

I make my apologies and leave before desert I am feeling that unwell.

Shell wakes me when she gets home to let me know the desert she made was delicious and the high point of the evening.

I congratulate her for her remarkable cooking skills.

“Never did the world make a queen of a girl who hides in houses and dreams without traveling.”
Roman Payne

Saturday

A poor night sleep and the cold has taken hold.

I don’t feel like eating, which is a strong indicator I am in mortal danger.

I lay about all day marinating in the misery of my cold.

I have finished A Stoic Guide and start On Desire – Why We Want What We Want, also by Irvine.

A Stoic Guide was not bad, but nothing profound that has not been touched on before.

“the easiest way for us to gain happiness is to learn how to want the things we already have.”
William B. Irvine

An afternoon of recovery and reading.

Early to bed.

Sunday

“People label themselves with all sorts of adjectives. I can only pronounce myself as ‘nauseatingly miserable beyond repair’.”
Franz Kafka

A terrible night.

I had to move to the spare room my coughing was so bad.

All night my body could not decide if I was hot or cold.

Three hot baths and some sleep.

It is morning and I am miserable.

I have called in sick for work tomorrow. My second sick day in five years.

“I would not have traded the delights of my suffering for anything in the world.”
Gabriel García Márquez

I spend the day reading.

Bed early.

Sick day tomorrow.

This weekend’s wine –

Thursday

2017 Moilard Bois Vilain Mercurey Bourgogne (Burgundy, France)

I am not a fan of Négociant winemaking. Buying grapes from growers and often pushing prices down. Beggars can’t be choosers. They are often good value, as is Burgundy from Mercurey. Seven years old and showing classic, rustic, Burgundy Bourgogne profile.

2020 Domaine Chanson Beaujolais Villages (Beaujolais, France)

Lighter and vibrant, again from a massive producer which takes away from the connection to vineyard.