Fog

“In ordinary perception, the senses send an overwhelming flood of information to the brain, which the brain then filters down to a trickle it can manage for the purpose of survival in a highly competitive world. Man has become so rational, so utilitarian, that the trickle becomes most pale and thin. It is efficient, for mere survival, but it screens out the most wondrous parts of man’s potential experience without his even knowing it. We’re shut off from our own world.”

Tom Wolfe

I wake up late after a dream filled sleep. Or sleeplessness.

My brain has a fog that won’t clear. I do not feel hungover, but simple tasks are difficult.

The stairs are challenging to navigate. I speak to Shell about this, and she is having the same issues.

I think about making eggs for breakfast and quickly give up. The task seems overwhelming.

I drink my coffee and try to read. I give up and go back to bed.

A few hours later, I try for breakfast. Time is not its usual fast-moving self. I am working underwater. Whisking the eggs takes a decade. I am constantly double-checking everything because I keep forgetting I have done things. I think of Descartes, break up this enormous task into pieces I can work with…

“Divide each difficulty into as many parts as is feasible and necessary to resolve it.”

René Descartes

I go back to bed.

I wake up around 12.30 pm, and I feel somewhat recovered.

We drive to Konoba Rino for some pasta and a steak.

The food is delicious but I barely touch the wine. I am still not at full capacity.

Asparagus is in season. The spears are long and as thin as a pencil. It tastes of Spring.

We drive home and read for a few hours. I finished The Sun Also Rises and decided to start Farewell to Arms tomorrow.

It is 7.00 pm when I fall to sleep. The windows are open and it is starting to rain. The air is cold, the room is freezing, and I warm in the bed.

I slept most of the day and I am crashing early. I fall immediately into sleep, only to be immediately woken by the church bells.

They ring for quite some time.

“Don’t you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and you’re not taking advantage of it? Do you realize you’ve lived nearly half the time you have to live already?”

Ernest Hemingway